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- Chapter VII
Ordeal
“Sit down and listen” - said the sage
Prophet of things - unpleasant, but true
“Full trumpets drown in blasts of your rage
But do I hear laugh of wonders in you?
Sarcastic speech, blasphemous hymns
Vices of men your favorite strings
But how worthless are your sins
They even don’t burn the empyreans…”
Man wades through heavy snow
Through rusted shades of past
And thoughts he left behind
Again engulf himself, alas…
What do you want from me
Ghost of conscience – moral whore
Clerical keepsake scorned abhorred
Freedom starts when you say “no”
Get off shadows! Cast you down
Who if not me will fix the rules
Who will crash the bounds?
Pain of imperfection
So well – known companion
I ask you - reflection
Who am I?
Trying to overcome
Antichristian phenomenon
Why do I still carry on?
My convictions turned to venom
From total rejection
To the strategy of onslaught
But so human recollections
Poisoning myself with doubt
Get off doubt! Cast you down
If I’ll die will come another
Proud, alligiant and hellbound
Let His Name in centuries resound
“Sit down and listen” - said the sage
Insane laugher of Dionysiac pit
“Doth I bewilder your logic wit
Twisting the conceps that you have tagged?”
Free out your fantasies, icarnate dreams
Leaving nothing unrevenged, unreedemed
That day when your longing no more
You’ll become all that once was wishing for
On this crossroad
He turned back
Facing all
That he repressed
Soul – sick phasms
In wanting cell
Hailing prison
Where they dwell
Can’t accept
The hierarchy
Self-made god?
Just selfish me...
Pride in black
Is just defence
Hiding behind
The common sense:
Fear of the death
Get off shadows! Cast you down
Who if not me will face the fears
Who will crash the bounds?
Gage me for my deeds
Not for the words
They’r not unusual
Sad long before
It’s not my affections
But the worlds that isn’t real
This is what they living for
But it’s my ordeal
( Music by Aefron & SpaceWhite, Lyrics by Aefron)